Everything was off to a wonderful start, or at least so I thought. Waking up, working out at a new facility, I was excited. The class was challenging but extremely rewarding even though I couldn’t feel my legs by the end of it. Nonetheless I was still soooooo ready to take on the day. So confident in fact I wasn’t even dreading the DMV, thinking “oh how long can renewing your license honestly take” LOL who was I kidding! After waiting a total of 4 hours I was O V E R everything and everyone! I kept tossing the idea of doing a birthday photo shoot the last three days around in my head and it actually started to overwhelm me. So when the DMV literally took a majority of my day I was over it, over pictures, over birthday planning, over a lot and I couldn’t figure out what my aggravation was stemming from!
I took some time to myself and called my friends and finally I was like you know what Natalie you want this, you want the pictures, you love dressing up just do it! So I go and buy IG worthy birthday balloons and gather my emotional self to get dressed. Finally meet up with my friend Natalie and guess what! The “2” balloon POPS! I literally lost it! The only number left was “4” and that’s exactly how I acted! I fought the balloon! I’m talking claws out lets goooooooooo! Then deciding to just say screw it! I’m going to take the pictures any way. In these moments before the tantrum, during the shoot, and afterward I could feel God tugging at my heart but I was too self-absorbed and worried about my birthday and my shoot and things that didn’t really matter. He was telling me to re-adjust my focus. Honestly writing this and seeing how the photos came out I’m personally shocked at how much God was trying to speak to me! To stop worrying about ME and look to the Lord. I didn’t realize during the shoot but after taking time to pray and looking over the pictures I came across one that reminded me of PSALM 121(posted beneath the picture).
All I can say is God has a funny way of bringing you back to him and I am so grateful for those moments. To remember it isn’t my movie but it’s God’s and if I would live my life to glorify him and not myself. So I’ll just end in a prayer…”Lord thank you for your faithful LOVE, that you watch our every steps and know our every struggle. Thank you that no tear goes unnoticed and that your Spirit guides us. Lord I ask that you would guard our hearts from ungratefulness and worry and instead let our focus be fixed on you. Lord thank you for allowing me to see another birthday! I pray this one comes with even more growth. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!”
Happy 24th Birthday to meeeeeeeee. If you read all of this you a REAL one! Blessings on Blessings!